Naked Boys Reading: The Moribund 4th Birthday Spectacular!
Naked Boys Reading
was the funniest show I’ve ever seen.
There’s your headline and I could probably end this here.
What I had expected to be smutty, silly and awkward was in
fact a slick, smart and incredibly well curated piece of performance art. I
mean, it was also SO smutty, silly and awkward.
Let’s rewind.
A few years ago, I saw an advert for Naked Boys Reading as part of the Manchester Pride Fringe line up.
Though my friendship circle was the gayest around we were also the laziest and so
slammed shut the window of opportunity to see the marriage of my two favourite
things: penises and literature.
Thankfully, 2016 is our year of “see it, do it” so when we
saw Naked Boys Reading: 4th
Birthday advertised in Attitude, my finger was on the enter button. All
puns intended.
Now is the time to introduce the host, my new favourite queen.
Embodying all that drag has evolved into, Dr Sharon Husbands (think Carrie Bradshaw
Season 5 with a beard) manoeuvred us through the show with the kind of dry sass
and jaw-aching humour that make you feel gutted to leave the building without a
signed contract for her to curate your life. I was also impressed to hear right
away that she co-created this show herself; this isn’t just a string of
readings from naked guys that you should ogle at, this has been researched,
devised, attended to, and that makes it all the more genius.
My personal highlights:
The very first reader. The virgin experience. Scottish,
attractive, Scottish (…know what I
mean?) and a great orator. The perfect “oh my God where do I look? Am I allowed
to look at it?” opening. His chosen work was Charlotte Perkins’ The Yellow Wallpaper, the extract from
which was heart-breaking, if a little long.
The surprise vagina visit. Apparently infamous, eastern-European
lesbian friend of the family, Bica, strode onto the stage to declare that “cunt
is better. European cunt is even better” and read from James St James’ Disco Bloodbath. The movie Party Monster bored me before it ever really
got going but this re-enactment of an after party spiralling into a desperate
search for “that secretly stashed gram I’m certain we never finished last time”
was delivered so on the mark that most of the audience was hiding their head in
shame.
Alfie Ordinary: a naked man in full little-boy-doll make up.
Terrifying, right? Not when you throw in a Whitney Houston puppet, a Whitney
Houston medley, Diane Sawyer interviews Whitney Houston sound clips and a fuck
tonne of confetti. I don’t feel qualified to put this into enough words for you
to “get it” but I ask that you look up Alfie Ordinary. You shan’t regret.
Lastly, props to the final guy. Who’d have thought that providing
a dramatic reading of Kate Bush’s ‘Wuthering Heights’ off your phone could be
so funny? Okay I could probably have imagined already but this guy delivered.
We missed the boat on the next show (it was a river cruise,
lol) but I’m determined to make this a regular feature in my life.
Also we were both hit on, as a couple. Great story for next
time.
Soundbite summary: penises; Carrie Bradshaw; Whitney
Houston; Kate Bush; Cocaine; funny lesbian; penises
